The Paris Syndrome pandemic is coming to the ASX – Fat Tail Daily

A new pandemic has broken out. I’m at ground zero. So I can warn you about what’s coming next. And prepare you for the coming stock market meltdown.

It’s not a new variant of COVID or Bird Flu. Nor is it a metaphor for financial ‘contagion.’ This is a real medical condition covered by medical journals. They call it Paris Syndrome.

It may have begun with Japanese tourists in Europe. But the illness is spreading fast. It’s already moving financial markets in Japan. The Japanese government is busy trying to contain a Paris Syndrome outbreak by cutting immigration.

Sanae Takaichi’s political party actually won the recent election there by promising to stop Paris Syndrome from reaching Japan. Their unofficial slogan on the topic was the real election winner: ‘We can’t become like Europe,’ it said.

That might seem a little vague to those who don’t know about Paris Syndrome yet.

Only Pauline Hanson’s growing band of supporters would know exactly what was meant by ‘we can’t become like Europe.’ She’s been warning about a Paris Syndrome outbreak for years. And will use the same slogan in Australian elections soon.

The Japanese people who came out to vote understood the slogan too. They gave the LDP a resounding victory thanks to the party’s willingness to tackle the Paris Syndrome crisis before the illness spreads to Japan.

It might also seem bizarre that a vague slogan about Europe could sway an election in the far east. I mean, do Japanese people really know what’s going on in Europe? Why would they even care? And what particular aspect of Europe’s crisis is even relevant to Japan?

Paris Syndrome explains it all…

What is Paris Syndrome?

It first popped up amongst Japanese tourists in Paris. Hence the name. Google’s AI summed up the illness like this:

Paris Syndrome is a severe form of culture shock experienced by some tourists—most notably Japanese visitors—who feel extreme disappointment, anxiety, and dizziness when Paris fails to match its idealised, romantic image.

It causes physical symptoms like vomiting and delusional states. About 20 cases occur annually, sometimes requiring medical repatriation.

Yes, medical repatriation from Paris to Japan, because the streets of Europe are so… disappointing.

The definition is as politically correct as it is incomplete. But you’re not allowed to mention why Paris is a ‘disappointment.’ You can’t say out loud what specifically makes Japanese tourists so anxious when they hit the streets of Paris.

But it’s not like the architecture has changed…

Paris Syndrome might sound funny. It used to be.

The last time I was in Paris, our taxi had to swerve some tear gas. Which was hardly disappointing to me. Just vaguely amusing. So I didn’t catch Paris Syndrome at the time. I was immunised by very low expectations.

But this time is different. I’ve just left my life in civilised Japan for a visit to Germany. Only a family medical emergency could make me willing to come.

As a result…

I am now suffering from
acute Paris Syndrome

I’m visiting my hometown to see my sick mum. We were both born here. But that only seems to make my condition even worse.

I have all the same complaints as the Japanese tourists do about Paris…

First, the airport was in chaos because of a Lufthansa strike. It was like being in a third-world country.

Not five seconds out of the airport’s baggage hall, I was accosted by a foreign beggar.

Now I feel like the only German native in the city.

I can’t understand anyone because spoken German has become a hybrid language full of foreign influences and pronunciation. When I last visited, it was still…German.

Each time I throw something in a rubbish bin, someone rushes up to pull it back out again. They get paid a few cents for bringing it to the recycling centre.

The German restaurants serving local dishes are gone.

It feels like I’m in a foreign country. Only the architecture still stands. Even the cars are foreign-made. Including the German ones.

My Paris Syndrome is so bad that I’m now considering emergency medical repatriation back to Japan. Not just for me, though.

The hospital that’s taking care of my mother just gave me a 30,000 euro bill. That’s about AUD$50,000. A third of which hasn’t even been incurred yet. It’s a precautionary pre-payment. Apparently, I’ll get some back if the bill doesn’t run up that far.

Illegal immigrants and refugees get free healthcare, of course. Germans, not so much.

Only one person working at the hospital is a native German. And the rest don’t exactly hit the stereotype of a German medical professional. One of the doctors forgot to remove the remnants of his blue eye shadow and red rouge. He must’ve had an interesting weekend.

Of course, some of the culture shock isn’t exactly new. The shops don’t just close on a Sunday, but for lunch between 12 and 2. The Germans still use fax machines. It’s impossible to get anything done without appointments. And the people were always rude here, compared to the Japanese.

But, minor inefficiencies aside, Germany clearly isn’t very German at all anymore.

And not in a good way, either.

Europe is unambiguously
falling apart

I’ve been writing about the economic statistics for years. But this visit has made them come alive badly enough to trigger Paris Syndrome.

The economic and financial consequences of change aren’t well hidden in the statistics either, though.

Europe’s share of global GDP and industry is crashing.

It is a geopolitical joke on the world stage.

The President of the European Commission – Europe’s highest office – presided over a German defence force that used broomstick handles as gun turrets in NATO exercises.

The President of the European Central Bank was criminally convicted of financial negligence.

The European economy became dependent on Russian, US, and Qatari gas, only for each to prove an absolute disaster in quick succession.

My hometown went from being Europe’s industrial and coal mining centre to ‘the greenest city in Europe’ in 2017. Now that seems to refer to the flags hanging from many windows and shops.

The German chancellor, who championed mass immigration, has openly called for her immigrants to outvote the anti-immigrant AfD at elections.

Things are so bad that when the Japanese government campaigned to cut immigration by ambiguously referring to Europe’s fate, everyone understood what was meant.

My country is now just a cautionary tale.

But who cares about the divergence between Japan and Germany?

Well, I think stock markets around the world are in for a Paris Syndrome crash, not that different to COVID…

What does Paris Syndrome look
like for Aussie stocks?

Australian investors have always known how interconnected financial markets are. The shenanigans of US banks, European governments and Japanese CEOs move our stocks and currency all the time.

Sometimes they cause a crash. 2008 was so bad that it interrupted the commodity boom for a few years.

Our financial markets and economy are also reliant on funding from overseas. A lot of which comes from Europe and Japan. So a crisis there becomes our problem.

So, what does Europe’s economic, political and financial demise mean for us?

If Europe’s economy and financial markets suffer or break down, we’ll feel it through financial contagion first.

Europe’s remaining industry is also still a major source of resource demand. The Europeans gave up on mining and producing energy years ago. But only now is the industrial side of their economy falling apart, too, due to high energy prices.

That could pull the rug out from commodity demand just when China’s economy is also slowing. And Japan leads the way in demographic decline that won’t be offset by immigration anymore. It’s not looking good for commodity prices then.

But there’s also the chance that Australia will experience its own political instability over immigration. Paris Syndrome could spread to Australia as part of a pandemic. I don’t need to tell you about that. You’re living it. And you can see the One Nation polling in Australia.

But Europe does show how the change manifests itself. It’s a warning of what’s to come.

Our two-party system is already shifting into four, like in countless other European countries that got hamstrung by bizarre coalition governments. We are just a few years behind.

Preference voting deals are good at preventing the most popular policies from coming about. That just makes political instability even worse.

So Paris Syndrome is coming to Australia. And it’ll have the same dire economic and financial consequences as in Europe. Economic stagnation, political standoffs, frequent changes in government and a complete refusal to cut immigration.

I can’t wait to go back to Japan.